An Open Letter To Coffee

Dear Coffee,

I know we’ve been in an on-again-off-again relationship throughout the years, and I think it’s about time I came clean.  I love you, I really do, but you’ve got to stop taking advantage of me.

I know I’ve abused you, and you’ve surely abused me, but it’s about time we stopped this.  We’re adults now, aren’t we?  Or at least one of us is, and this one can’t take your shenanigans anymore.

Believe it or not, you’ve made me tired.  You’ve made me tired of productivity bursts followed by intense yawning and tired of frequent hookups in order to avoid the helplessness I experience after you’ve gone.  I suppose it’s partly my fault for needing you so badly, emotionally and physically, but it takes two to tango bucko, and you’re not off the hook.  I’m tired of the ups and downs associated with the way I spend my time with and without you.  And I’m tired of your deceptive ways.

You’ve deceived me into thinking that I can survive without a healthy dose of my good friend, Sleep.  Sleep and I had a chat, and we decided that if I were to start seeing you again, I can’t abandon him like all of the other times we’ve gotten together.  I have other important friends in my life, and you can’t make me stop hanging out with them.

My friend Eating also wants to have a talk with you.  The two of you have never gotten along very well in the past, but he’s willing to forgive and forget.  I’ve had a healthy relationship with Eating as of late, and we both remember what you did to us last time, so tread with caution.  I’m a lot less needy this time around, and I’ve got good friends to protect me from your sneaky ways.

I think we need to start as acquaintances.  I can’t handle a full on friendship with you right away, with all that we’ve been through in the past.  You’ve left your marks and I think this time it’s a good idea if we take it slow.  Maybe we’ll have breakfast, or maybe I can see you after lunch, but only one or the other.  Let’s hold off on dinner for a while.

And another thing.  I feel the need to include the disclaimer that while I am less needy, life has been pretty tough for me lately, so I might be a little bit vulnerable.  Work has been hectic and stressful, but I trust you to not take advantage of me.  I’ve sworn to not abuse you, and you’re going to have to do the same.  I know it will be hard, but it’s very important that we don’t slip back into our old ways.

I’m giving you a chance to rewrite your past wrongs.  I’ve grown up and I’m much happier with myself than I used to be, and I think it’s time.  Have you grown up as well?  I think we owe it to ourselves to at least give it one more shot.

Now if you excuse me, I’ve got to go visit my good friend Sleep for a bit.

Best,

Brian