I Thought We Would Be Friends Forever

When we were young, I thought we would be friends forever.

We met when we were nine, and we became an instant package.  You were an artist and I was a spelling whiz, but we found solitude in cootie shots and Pen Fifteen jokes.  Our mothers drove us to each other’s houses, and we built a foundation of trust for the future.  You were my closest friend at school, and I thought we would be friends forever.

When we were ten, we teased girls we liked instead of telling them how we felt.  We read about girls who ran cities and tollbooths that took you to faraway lands.  We sang the preamble and learned our helping verbs, and I thought we would be friends forever.

When we were eleven, we moved to a new school and we met new friends.  I tried to be popular and you tried to be yourself.  We got caught up in our own lives, but we still saw each other outside of school, and I thought we would be friends forever.

When we were twelve, we didn’t have classes together and we began to lose touch.  We tried to keep what we had going, but we didn’t try hard enough.  We found time to spend together in playing cards with mythical creatures, but those are just paper and I wasn’t sure how close of friends we had become.

When we were thirteen, we lost touch.  We had been apart for too long, and we didn’t know each other anymore.  If we saw each other in passing, we’d smile and remember past glories, and sometimes we even hung out, but it was not the same.  I thought we would be friends forever, but I wasn’t sure what was in store for us.

When we went to high school, we joined a band together.  We learned instruments we didn’t know how to play, and we produced the worst music ever heard by human ears.  But we were back, and I thought we would be friends forever.

The second half of high school was different.  The band dispersed for better music options, and I didn’t see you in the halls of our massive institution anymore.  I learned you were having personal issues, and I tried to reach out to help, but I didn’t reach out far enough.  We became distant, and I didn’t know where our friendship stood.

When I was a Freshman in college, you were one of the few who remembered my birthday.  I hadn’t spoken to you nearly as much as you needed, but you still called me to wish me a happy one.  We emailed back and forth for a little bit, and I hoped we would be friends forever.

When I came home for the summer, we saw each other a few times, and I helped you run away from a house you were staying at without knowing it.  When I found out, I was upset, but I saw that you needed the companionship and I let it slide.  You were still having trouble and all I could do was see you a few times.  I never thought I was doing enough, but I never knew what else I could do.  I thought maybe I was helping, and we would be friends forever.

When I went back to school, we lost touch again.  I became engrossed in my studies and I barely had time for friends at college, never mind ones back home.  I was a mess trying to achieve two degrees in four years, and you paid part of the price.  We spoke sometimes out of formality and hope that we weren’t done yet, but we didn’t know each other anymore.  When we knew each other, you were an artist and I was a spelling whiz, but now you had nothing to draw and I had a computer with spellcheck.

Now that I’ve graduated college and am living far from our hometown, I’ve settled into my new life without you.  We’ve grown apart, but part of me will always miss the childhood we had together.

When you emailed me the other day, we gave each other life updates and went through the formalities, but it feels different this time.  You are doing better and I like to think I am too.  Maybe we can make something out of it this time.  I used to think we would be friends forever, and it’s nice to see we haven’t given up hope.

We’ve built our friendship in sprints.  Bursts of energy and crazy emotion followed by cool down periods where we stretch our muscles and our hearts.  It’s been a crazy trip so far, and it looks like we’ve begun our latest sprint.  Maybe we will end up running a marathon.