So, tonight I will be attending an
alumni networking event for American University, a college I have never
attended. To sum it all up, my coworker mentioned the event, mentioned
something about free alcohol and food, so I was immediately in. Stay tuned for
updates throughout the night/one massive update when I come home because I
don't have a smartphone and can't update this blog on the go.
5:53 PM – Why am I doing this
again? I wonder how to disguise myself as an American University student.
6:17 PM – Oh good I’ve just been
told I will be a “special guest” representing my company. This coworker is
tricky…welp, time to go take a dump all over these kiddies’ dreams.
6:30 PM – The Tenleytown metro
stop reminds me of Looney Toons for some reason.
6:48 PM – Oh, she told them I have
job offers. THAT’S how come I’ve been invited here. Let’s see if I can act well
enough to get through this night. Oppa Tobias style.
7:10 PM – They’ve got crab cakes,
steak, fried chicken things, and brie and pear quesadillas. Aaaand I’ve just
had 6 plates. Worth it.
7:27 PM – Totally just talked to
an MBA and sounded like I knew what I was talking about. Buzzwords are key. Oh,
you’re into BI? Well I hear big data is very important. And synergy. Ummmm pick
that low hanging fruit?
7:41 PM – So, definitely can’t BS
Finance people. Not enough buzzwords as part of my vocabulary. Can only use the
words “Bottom Line” so many times.
7:45 PM – Asian Finance Masters
students have seen through my ruse. This is awkward. Need more beer.
8:17 PM – People are leaving and
there is a ton of food left. I totally have a Tupperware in my backpack…
8:19 PM – I am an adult. This
means no American University food for lunch tomorrow. I am not sure I like this
adult thing…
8:20 PM – There’s leftover beer
too…adults can take that right?
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